This Kingdom that I seek

This Kingdom that I seek

is here and not here, a paradox that plagues my dreams

like a hologram that fizzles and fades

as soon as my hand reaches for it.

Is this kingdom real?

I hope it’s real. I want it to be real.

I believe in it. Does that make it real?

Again, being told to worry

and seeking a paradoxical vision place

does not ease my mind in the least.

I want to believe, but I am troubled by what unbelief holds me back

as a chain that binds me to my worries.

The kingdom is a joy unsought for, and yet I must seek.

The kingdom is a pearl of great value. The kingdom is a treasure in a field

stumbled upon and worth greater than words can estimate.

As I seek this kingdom, believe in this kingdom,

yearn for this kingdom

I pray for my place in it to be revealed.


33 But strive first for the kingdom of God[a] and his[b] righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

34 “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Matthew 6:33-34

About grantimusmax

Grant Barnes, aka Grantimus Maximus, aka The Nerdcore Theologian. Currently, he is a PhD Candidate at the Graduate Theological Union at Berkeley, California. He is a graduate of Perkins School of Theology with a Masters Degree in Divinity. He graduated from Texas State University Cum Laude with a Bachelor's degree in English, minor in History. He watches way too many movies, reads too many books, listens to too much music, and plays too many video games to ever join the mundane reality people claim is the "Real World." He rejects your reality, and replaces it with a vision of what could be, a better one, shaped by his love for God.
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